Brits Lay Claim To Creating Haggis—Scots Fight Back

Jump to Comments

Now I have this compulsion to irritate people.  I can’t help it.  So when I saw the shocking news that the English people are laying claim to HAGGIS, I thought, ‘Now this is a controversy to end all controversies!  Why, this might start a major border raid!’  Yes, who invented haggis?  The French might suggest that all of the Isles are hopeless when it comes to the art of cooking.  I don’t think we will see Paris laying claim to inventing haggis!  Let’s look at the news that is roiling in the Disunited Kingdom:

.

First, to set the mood, please feel free to click on this You Tube presentation.  It has bagpipes, Scottish poetry, a plate of haggis, some Scotch whiskey to tipple, a ferocious combination:

.

YouTube – Address tae the haggis

.

BBC NEWS | UK | Haggis is English, historian says

Historian Catherine Brown told the Daily Telegraph that she found references to the dish inside a 1616 book called The English Hus-Wife. The title would pre-date Robert Burns’ poem To A Haggis by 171 years. But ex-world champion haggis maker Robert Patrick insisted: “Nobody’s going to believe it.”…

.

…Ms Brown said the book, by Gervase Markham, indicates that haggis was first eaten in England and subsequently popularised by the Scots. She told the paper that first mention she could find of Scottish haggis was in 1747. “It was originally an English dish. In 1615, Gervase Markham says that it is very popular among all people in England,” she said….

.

…But Mr Patrick said the idea haggis originated in England is akin to claims by the Dutch and Chinese to have invented golf. He added: “Anything that’s to do with Scotland, everybody wants to get a part of.

.

Stone of Scone – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:  First Edward the First heisted the sacred stone of Scotland and parked it under his throne.  He reportedly called it a ‘turd’.  The Freudian interpretation of all this is rather funny.  We often call our toilets, ‘thrones’.  It is amusing that he felt compelled to insert it inside of the throne in Westminster Abbey.

.

Some Scots finally, after 400 years, got around to stealing the Stone back from the British royals in 1950.  They had many adventures, hauling this big rock around and of course, dropped it.  It broke.  I suspect the carousing this caper produced was partially responsible.  Queen Elizabeth II and the Tories decided, in the end, to bring back the Stone whenever there is a coronation.

.

I don’t know if the Scots will now allow this.  Maybe they will decide, it is time for war!  Now that the British are laying claim to ownership of haggis!  Below is the recipe for haggis:

.

Scotland Week in NYC-free haggis!!!

I have been at Scottish events in the past.  We used to joke, ‘They have to give haggis away for free because no one will buy it.’  Actually, don’t get mad at me, I have eaten haggis.  I happen to like sheep and oatmeal so the ingredients are not all that bad.  Of course, it is the stomach that really gets to people.

.

This is odd, since people happily eat sausages.  These are or were stuffed into intestines.  Intestines are very thin walled, sheep stomachs are very tough, as tough as old shoes.  Haggis is classic ‘peasant’ food: stuff the royals and their hanger ons don’t bother to eat.  Since the various remains and odds and ends of animals are not all that appetizing by themselves, great ingenuity was applied to turning dross into gold.  As we often enjoy these sorts of food, the range of flavors and smells is quite interesting.

.

Back to this historic confrontation between the British people and the Scots: so far, I don’t see England laying claim to Scottish whiskey.  If they did dare this act, it would be monumentally irresponsible and very dangerous.  The Scots would not just steal back their Stone of Scone, they would burn Westminster Abbey and probably stop traffic in London, lurching through the streets, waving mostly empty whiskey bottles and shouting, ‘Deasch to Parliament *hic*.’

.

The Art of Manliness Guide to Scotch Whisky | The Art of Manliness

Originally known as “Aqua vitae” or “water of life” for it’s healing properties, the first recorded reference to the substance is found in the Scottish Exchequer Rolls of 1494. The following, “Eight bolls of malt to Friar John Cor wherewith to make aqua vitae,” was the equivalent of several hundred bottles of whisky in today’s standards. This distilled beverage was used as a treatment for all kinds of ailments, with many of its users noticing the warm, calming sensation upon “treatment.”

.

Scotland’s King James IV was recorded as purchasing whisky from the local barber upon a visit to Dundee in 1506. That he purchased it from the barber would not have raised any eyebrows in that time period. “In 1505, the Guild of Surgeon Barbers in Edinburgh was granted a monopoly over the manufacture of aqua vitae – a fact that reflects the spirits perceived medicinal properties as well as the medicinal talents of the barbers”¹

.

Now, this is truly amazing: first, in order to eat haggis, you  need to brace yourself.  Drinking a hard shot of whiskey is recommended.  So whiskey is viewed as medicinal.  That is, in order to eat, you have to drink something really, really powerful.  Now, I might guess that shaving a Scotsman of all his hairy face, could be very dangerous back then.  The barber had to use a very large knife-like razor, after all.  So maybe the way the barber fooled the Scots into being shaved was to get them totally blasted on whiskey and then tackle the mess while they were passed out in the barber chair.

.

Actually, barbers were doctors back then.  They cut out all sorts of body parts.  And amputations hurt.  So they would apply whiskey to the case and knock out the amputee and voila.  No legs for sailors, no arms for soldiers.  One thing is certain here: I would not wish to mediate between the British or the Scots people in these disputes.  All we can do is stand aside and watch them go after each other, fork and thongs.  By the way, I found this rather amusing skinhead group called ‘Haggis’ singing about Vikings.  Who, by the way, also claim to be the creators of haggis.

.

I thought, they were the creators of Hägar the Horrible.  :)

King Features Syndicate – Comics

YouTube – Haggis – The Vikings Are Coming

Email:

emeinel@fairpoint.net

MAILING ADDRESS:

EMS NEWS

P.O. BOX 483

BERLIN, NY 12022

Make checks out to ‘Elaine Supkis’

CLICK HERE TO DONATE TO THIS WEBSITE

10 Comments

Filed under Politics